Realizing the domain

Enthusiasm and anxiety were struggling to overpower each others in his mind when my friend was leaving for Mumbai to follow his dream to achieve something unconventional in sound engineering, a field mostly untouched by people from Vidarbha, especially from my hometown Yavatmal.

I had been a part of many such platform farewell meets on railway station even before this one; and I am sure to attend many more such in future, as people will continue to leave hometowns in search of better educational and professional opportunities. But, this farewell meeting was different. My friend was leaving neither for pursuing higher education in engineering or medicines, nor to join any high paying job in a multi national firm. He was leaving in search of himself, in an entirely unknown scenario.

“I will learn by myself. There are people working in this field. Working with them will be learning itself,” he was saying with confidence in voice and uncertainty in eyes.

Well, my friend, just close these ‘eyes with uncertainty’ and just jump out! The parachute of confidence will land you safe at the dream destination. At least you realize that this is the only thing which you want to do in your life. You are not searching yourself in the scrap of all career options – banks, BPOs, factories, and administrative examinations – but, you know your domain. Now search will become easy,

As his train departed, I remembered my time. I was leaving for comparatively known field, the journalism. But, when I joined, I realized how ignorant I was. Since then, I am learning and will keep on learning for all the time. But, at least, I know, what I want to learn.

Yes; something unconventional, creative, and what pleases me a lot! This is what I am doing. When they compare how less I am earning than my engineer friends, and how bigger name would I have made if I would have tried some service commission examinations, I just smile at them. This smile comes from within. Oh come on! I am enjoying each and every moment – good and bad; each and every experience – happy and sad; and each every reaction – bouquets and brickbats; with equal enthusiasm. What else one expects? I know my domain and am searching myself in it. After all, just like the sky, success, too, is the same and is there for everyone, fields no bar.

Generally, we run behind the thing which we don’t have and always underestimate what we have with us. My colleague who attended Indian Science Congress was lamenting that India lacks far behind China and other countries in scientific research. India spends only 0.9 per cent of the GDP on science. Some other colleague added that we lack on army front from America and navy front from Russia. Someone said we are far behind in industrialization and construction fields than Japan. We are in Stone Age of hardware development as compared to Koria and Malaysia. On tourism front, we lack ages behind Singaore and Canada. Finally, the discussion ends on the universal thought that India is eaten up by corruption and is the worst place in the world to live for progressive minded people.

Criticizing the development or more precisely non-development of science, industries, buildings, bridges, and finally – money – in India comes as an outcome of the ignorance of our domain. The most ancient civilization, India is known for what? It is not industrialization, or building high rises or developing science gadgets; but it is spirituality.

The land has given Buddha to China and Japan. It has taught Jesus Christ the basics of Christianity during 12 years of his stay in Indus. It has inspired Prophet Mohammad to formulate Islamic rules and regulations. It has given all 24 Teerthankars of Jainism to the world. It has given the brave hearts Sikhs right from Guru Nanak Dev Ji. It has given philosophy and Darshans to the world. It has given the mother of all religions and beliefs, the greatest way of living life – The Hinduism.

India is known for the thought it gives to live the life without being materialistic. Because, science or industries or money or gadgets have limits; and spirituality is limitless. India leads the world on the front which no one feels has any importance during the days of money, and everyone feels as the most important during the days of death.

Being Indians, we should understand in which field exactly we are leading. We can borrow technology from all over the world, but not the thought. While listening ourselves criticizing her on the technological, and money making fronts, Mother India must be passing the smile from within, the smile I can relate with.

Feeling Tendulkar

It was unbelievable for me when my Facebook status update informing about my first semester result received spontaneous replies from more than 50 online friends. Moreover, for whole day, I was busy in receiving congratulations from office colleagues, seniors, friends, classmates, teachers, HoD; even the office clerk, too, congratulated me. Needless to say, my family members were all in joyous mood. Initially, each one asked for the party, and later, everyone wished me to continue achieving similar success in remaining three semesters, too.

With one small success, the expectation for three more and even bigger successes got created. Directly or indirectly, a new responsibility of maintaining the university topper position automatically came to me, and I accepted it as a proud crown. This achievement made me realize that there are many people around me who are watching me silently. They observe me, think about me and very rarely – comment too. This feeling is even pleasant than being a topper.

Now the person, who wants to repeat the first semester success for remaining three semesters, more desperately than any other person around, is myself. How beautiful was it to receive message after message of congratulations that day! I don’t want to miss it in any semester ahead. Yes, my success is very small, but it inspired me to shoulder bigger responsibility. And, I accepted it as if I was waiting for it. Success serves responsibility and makes it look easier to shoulder.

Why only success? Failure, too, serves a responsibility to overpower and emerge. On every positive and negative turn, life only serves a new responsibility. It’s like completing tasks in TV game. Clearing one level takes you to another to face bigger challenges, tougher obstacles.

Bigger success gives bigger responsibility while biggest success gives biggest one!

Every time when he walks out in the middle with his heavy bat, he looks at the sky. In fact the sky itself stares at master blaster. The sky is full of expectations. These expectations come from those who love him, follow him, and worship him.  Whenever he scores a milestone, their faith strengthens. If he fails, they disappoint. This is the biggest success serving biggest responsibility. Sachin Tendulkar shoulders it.

 Many Greats say, Tendulkar knows how to stay away from this pressure of expectations, others defer saying that he falls prey to this pressure. Is it possible to stay completely away from what others are feeling, thinking, and talking about you?

I don’t think so. And why should we keep away from it? After all, living with others is living for others. This is what our culture teaches. Let me take every compliment and every congratulation comment as a new responsibility and every success and failure as an entry into new level of this game.

Tendulkar must have been doing this only all these years while looking straight into the sky of expectations.

Deeply rooted

She is going. After staying with us for almost three and a half years, the girl is getting married now. She will leave our office to start new life. Well, while I am really happy for her that she is getting married, I am a bit anxious too, as she will not be with us in the office anymore.

In fact, her leaving is not at all shocking. Nothing out of the world is happening. It was like pre-decided that after getting married, the girl was to leave the office. Many a times, it was me, who used to ask her when she was going to get married? We all colleagues used to discuss each others’ marriages for long time after our day’s work. At that time, I never even imagined that I will feel so bad when she will leave, really. Attachment catches us unaware.

On the other hand, I know that this feeling is momentary. Just within a week or two, we all will learn managing without her. For the first few days, or weeks, she will call or message quite regularly. Then messages, too, would become occasional. Then one or two in a year, and finally, they will stop. I know, years after, if we will meet each others suddenly some day, we will just speak formally and would feel happy for each others. Detachment, too, catches us unaware.

She was smiling. She was looking at everything around in the office, her desk, her computer, her chair and all. She was giving chocolates to everyone and was saying good bye. A huge enthusiasm about coming days was hiding the small but earnest feeling of grief in her mind. How girls could manage all this? They are wonderful.

For one guy to whom she loves, she is leaving her family, parents, her friends, her city, her job, her career, and may be so many of her routine habits; even her name. She is ready to restart for him and she will restart; that too, willingly. In India, we Brahmins proudly call ourselves ‘Dvij’ (who takes two births) as we believe that we get another birth after ‘Maunj’ (thread ceremony). However, real ‘Dvij’ are the girls, who have to take rebirth after marriage. I imagined myself at her position just for a few seconds, and I found myself in tears.

No! I can’t leave my world so easily, with smile on my face. I can’t hide my disappointment so effortlessly, howsoever bright may be the future. Even today, I had to struggle a lot to hide my disappointment of losing company of her -- a friend, a long time associate. Oh God, what would happen, if I have to leave everything like she is doing?! I started hating myself, and entire male fraternity.

How reluctant we males are? We find some girl beautiful, and charming and brilliant and suitable and we propose her. We feel proud if we propose her for marriage, and not for affair. We feel bad, if she denies and we feel like her masters if she accepts. We take this entire transformation so casually, without having a single thought on what the girl must be thinking of. Boys are born bastards.

Attachment and detachment caught me unaware, but when this realization caught me, it left me in tears for hours together.

Yes! God!

The man has magic in him. Shivshahir Babasaheb Purandare, when speaks about Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj, his voice gets an unusual depth, his face gets embellished with spiritual glow, his eyes start shining, and hands go up in the air with an unknown energy! The man, who, for his lifetime, has sung the ballads of the great King of India, is now eighty nine years old.

A blessed orator, he speaks on the culture, heritage, spirit, religion, patriotism, and national character of India with authority. In strong words, he criticizes Hindu religious leadership, which has failed to instill the spirit of nationalism in its people. A studied scholar, he firmly expresses his anger over increasing casual attitude, ignorance and inaction of Hindu society and expressively laments over casteism, materialism, and lack of knowledge which are destroying the values, history, and spirit from the lives of Hindus. But, after all this time, when the man switches over to his most beloved subject – Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj – he is completely a transformed one. His ailing vocal chord forgets the pain and becomes a trumpet of the Maratha spirit. His shivering hands gain power of the lightning and rise like sunrays to raise the impact of the speech. While speaking about Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj, Babasaheb Purandare becomes Shiv Shahir Babasaheb Purandare.

Listening him the other day, at a book-release function was a thought-provoking encounter. The speech, the energy, made me remember another similar incidence I witnessed some two years back. It was concluding function of Rashtriya Kirtan Mahotsava in Nagpur. Vidya Vachaspati Ram Shewalkar was about to speak on Lord Krishna. Shwalkar was not well that day. He appeared on stage in a wheel chair.  Introductory speeches were on, and my eyes were watching the man, in his seventies, struggling even to sit constantly in one position. Finally, he was asked to speak. Shewalkar rose from wheelchair. He adjusted the microphone, and… the rest was a great contradiction! Words started flowing as if the rains start dancing under the sky full of black clouds. Spirited was the speech. Each of his gestures, reactions, expressions, and words was just out of the world. The seven decades long knowledge-penance overpowered the ailments of body, and Shewalkar spoke for almost half an hour. It was pin drop silence during the short pauses he took. Even after he concluded, the audience stood up and clapped only when Shewalkar rested back into the wheel chair. From where, this magical energy came from?

Similar was watching Syed Haider Raza, ninety-two year legendary painter, while painting his innovation – Bindu – in Nagpur’s Jawaharlal Darda Art Gallery. Otherwise wavery, hands of Syed Haider Raza turned firm with a divine capability when they hold a brush to draw lines on canvas. Otherwise weary, eyes of Syed Haider Raza sparkled with a spiritual light when they concentrated on shiny white canvas. Otherwise busy in watching the Shlok’s painting exhibition, art-lovers turned sculptures, immobile, to store the moment into their eyes forever. And otherwise a common white paper, the canvas at Jawaharlal Darda Art Gallery, turned into a masterpiece of contemporary art when the universal ambassador of Indian style of painting filled the hues of life into it. How it happened?

From where the energy, the magic comes in Shewalkar, for Raza and for Babasaheb Purandare? What makes Sachin Tendulkar practice non stop for more than nine hours even after playing regular match for six hours? What makes Ustad Zakir Hussain continue his Riyaaz for eight hours even after being busy in worldwide concerts? What makes 86-years-old Pandit Bhimsen Joshi touch the Shuddha Shadaj in Sawai Gandharva Music Festival? What makes Dr Babasaheb Ambedkar study for twenty two hours a day? What?

Passion? Dedication? Penance? Goal? God?!

Yes God!

Here he shows his existence. When someone gives lifetime for a cause, the cause becomes God for that someone. And that someone becomes godly for others. Yes. Isn’t it a comparatively easier way to find the God?

Wait…

Wait and watch – we always say, but nobody likes to wait. “I enjoyed in waiting room” is so rare to here. In fact, waiting rooms have TVs, newspapers, magazines, music, refreshments, every possible option to kill time for the inmates, but no one really wishes to stay their for long. A lover waiting for his beloved in garden or some other apologizing his beloved for coming late in garden, are the key situations for romantic songs in Hindi films. Yes, we hate, but we have to wait.

My friend’s wait has just started – his homoeopathic clinic. Firstly, he is a young doctor. Secondly, a homoeopathic physician, and finally, working in a small town like Yavatmal, where people generally prefer allopathic medicines or traditional home-made remedies! Yes, he was hopeful but concerned; confident but uneasy, and smiling but hiding something. When I wished him all the best, he said, those who were with him are settling down one by one. It’s tough to wait when others are claiming bigger and better opportunities, he said. Nothing I could do, but to agree with his views. Yes. This concern is absolutely all right and must. But the only thing, he and most of us have to do while waiting is not to lose temper and not to get depressed.

From his clinic, I went to bus station. I started waiting for my bus, and also comparing him and myself. I found myself lucky to get job without much wait. My work was waiting for me in Nagpur, but he was waiting for his work in his clinic. How many days, my friend will be waiting like he was today? I was wondering, when a bus came. Being a jam-packed overflowing one, I left that bus. Thinking continued.

He is hard worker, talented, and yes, he is a good doctor, I am sure. Only thing is that he needs a boost, and he needs initial number of patients to prove his mettle. He will get everything, name and fame and money, soon, but for that he has to wait patiently. One more bus came, and I left it, too.

Even in a job, when I see sub-standard people getting preferences in promotions, just because they are seniors, or near and dear ones to the management; I feel exactly the same – others are claiming bigger and better opportunities and I have to wait. Well, this wait is more painful, but still, I am waiting, because, positivity, hopes are there within me. Finally, one more bus came. This was having ample number of free seats; and I got the one of my choice. The bust was quite new, neat and clean, and the driver was young. It started, and I really enjoyed the journey.

Yes. I was waiting for long. I left two buses. But I got a great journey as a result of this wait. My friend, don’t worry, you are waiting patiently, I know. And you are going to get a better, newer, and younger bus for a happy, safe and prosperous journey.  

Art of Living!

She said the decade showed her many things. School, college, graduation, job, post graduation, love affair, break-up, and finally marriage! For my ex-collogue, the first decade of the millennium was a full of turning points. It’s a long span for anyone, especially, for youngsters. She inspired me to think what happened with me in the decade gone by. Oh! I realized. Many things! Even my decade was also an eventful one.

I joined a drama group. Performed in State Drama Festivals consecutively for five years, and won a state level certificate. I cleared my board examinations, failed in science stream, passed in arts stream, and completed graduation. I left home for job, learned how to live alone, started earning and completed my PG. I made new friends, preserved old ones, and trying to be even matured. I wrote poems, one act plays, short stories, and news reports. I tried to write blogs regularly, tried to lose weight, and tried to acquire reading habit, and failed. But, the most important thing, this decade gave me is my way of thinking.

I realized that philosophy of life, spirituality and the definition of peace of mind defers from person to person. Whatever I read in these days, made me think that there is no point in following path told by somebody else. Whether it may be Sri Sri Ravi Shankar telling us about Art of Living or Swami Ramdev finding peace in Yoga, or it may be Aasaramji Bapu finding ‘shanti’ in reasserting the name of god or Sudhanshu Maharaj finding the goal of life in Satsang, -- it is their way of finding peace, and not yours and mine. It may be Vipassana told by somebody, it may be Ahimsa, Astheya and Aparigraha told by somebody, it may be Pradnya, sheel and Karuna told by somebody, or it may be Karmayog told by somebody – it is theirs way of thinking. No doubt, they are great thinkers, they are Gods! But, it is their thoughts, and their experiences, and not of me.

Whatever little I read, whatever little I heard and whatever little experienced and whatever little I thought in these ten years, I conclude, everyone has to think and find oneself within and one’s philosophy of life. In Hinduism, it is allowed. That is why; Kapil Mahamooni dares to state his own ‘Sankhya’ school of philosophy even after being a son of a staunch follower of Vaishav tradition. That is why, Siddharth Gautam Buddha, Bhagwan Mahaveer dare to state Buddhism and Jainism respectively. That is why; Guru Nanak dares to introduce Sikhism, and hundreds and thousands of Maharajs, and Babas, and Gurus are still daring to state their way of achieving the ultimate aim – mental peace.

Instead of following some Maharaj or some Guru, why couldn’t we read everything, go through many thoughts and decide our own way of living life? Yes, no doubt, we can have our own way of living. Everybody can have. Everybody must have. I think.

We don’t bother to know!

That young boy used to work out vigorously in the gym. He used to run at 9kmph speed continuously for 5 minutes or more, giving me a real inferiority complex. While cycling, his difficulty level used to be more than 10, against my 6 or 7. Many a times, I tried to ask him, since how many days he was working out, but either he used to be busy with his phone and I-pod, or I used to be overtired to talk to him.

Finally, yesterday, the boy himself asked me while we were paddling on spin bike, “It seems you are new to this gym”. “Yes. This is my second week,” I said, and the conversation began. During the discussion, he told me that he was a junior college student and he reduced some 10 pounds in four months. After I told him that I am a journalist, he enthusiastically asked me about how we work, and what exactly I do. Being a regular reader of my newspaper, he easily understood what I explained. “So, you cover dance, drama, exhibitions like cultural events? I hardly read them in details. I just watch photographs and read headlines,” he remarked. “Well, most of the youngsters do the same,” I told him my experience. “But, you must be watching the photographs of Mega drama ‘Shambhuraje’ we are carrying daily these days,” I asked him. “Yes, I do. But it is very boring play, isn’t it?,” his response was shocking for me. The boy was calling a play, based on the life of Chhatrapati Sambhaji Maharaj as ‘boring’ one. “Well, may be. The play is in Marathi, so difficult to understand for non-Marathi people,” I gave him (and myself) an excuse. “No, I am Maharashtrian, we speak Marathi at home. I was about to go to the show on student’s pass, when my sister told me that it is a crap, and especially, the end is irritating!” I received the words like a series of electric shocks.

That young boy was calling the glorious Maratha history portrayed in the play as ‘boring’. A born Maharashtrian boy was calling the struggle of Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj shown in the play as crap. A Marathi speaking boy was calling the brutal torture of Sambhaji Raje as irritating, that too, without watching a play, and referring to the advice given by his college-going sister. What the hell has happened to us?

For hours, my friends discuss the Hollywood flicks. They search internet and get the lyrics of latest English songs. They rehearse for days and nights and get perfection in pronouncing each and every word of their favorite song. They don’t care about the meaning, but they enjoy singing along. Their cell phones and I-pods are full of such songs. My friends, of my age group, they don’t know about our history, but they don’t even bother to know about. They even don’t know about the history behind English songs they utter, but they don’t bother to know. They know little more than ten or twenty Hollywood films, and the same number of Hollywood stars. And they don’t bother to know more about this industry, of which they call themselves ‘big’ fans.

Some call themselves greatest fans of Manchester United or Real Madrid but they know little about the history of these great clubs. Some say, they love WWE, and they don’t even know when the World Heavyweight Championship was introduced in this wrestling entertainment. Some boast to be great fans of PC games and these guys hardly recognize whether the DVD of the game they master in, is made in China or Japan or Korea or Thailand or somewhere else! What has happened to us?

We hate Mahabharata and Ramayana, as we feel these are bogus mythologies. We call ourselves very scientific and practical people, away from such unbelievable non sense. We change Hindi, or Indian channels within seconds (DD is no where in the list even) and shift to HBO, AXN, and we enjoy the film, whether it be Spanish, or Japanese, or whatever. We hardly care to read the subtitles even, (may be because most of the times, we miss them due to slow reading). We shift from Doordarshan showing Mahabharata war, to AXN showing the movie ‘Troy’. And we enjoy the Troy, without bothering to know who Achilles was. Achilles, oh, leave him; we hardly know more than the names about the Iliad and the Odyssey, but, we don’t really feel to know more than these names.  

We find reading Emperor Ashoka, Chandragupta Maurya or Shehenshah Akbar very boring, and we don’t find reading King George, or Queen Victoria or the Iliad or the Odyssey interesting.  

We spend hours on internet searching newest remix version of some Hollywood song, or pirated copies of sound mixing software, or details about newly released browser by Microsoft, but we hardly bother to know who Bill Gates was some three decade ago, and how he became Bill Gates of today.

We discuss minute features of newest Mercedes Benz with our friends (even if the car is not going to be launched in India for next 20 years), but we hardly bother to know whose daughter’s name was Mercedes after which the car was named.

We behave like half Americans, of which we feel proud. But, we hardly know who Thomas Jefferson was. We hate to know about our Indian history. And we don’t bother about the history of place which we love. Then, what exactly we are doing?

Are we living in present, and dreaming of future forgetting about the past? Isn’t it unwise? The boy ridiculing the martyrdom of Chhatrapati Sambhaji -- as a result of which he was born to a Maharashtrian Marathi-speaking family, and not to a forcefully converted Muslim family -- was knowing nothing about how this Maratha King was assassinated and for which cause he laid his life. Neither his parents, nor his teachers bothered to tell him about the history out of the text-books. Neither had they bothered to tell the history to his sister, who called the end part of the play ‘irritating’.

The places where this history is being told, and re-told – the Kirtans, folk theatre, and discourses – are untouchable for the boy, his sister and their friends, as they are young and these places are for old folks. Knowledge centers for youngsters – cyber cafes, www, and televisions – are being used for searching lyrics and synopsis of new movies. Real knowledge-seeking is missing somewhere.

But, as a result -- we know neither about Sambhaji, nor about Achilles, neither Tansen nor Brian Adams, neither Gopi Krishna nor Michel Jackson, neither Ronaldo not Tendulkar, neither Amitabh Bachchan nor Arnold Schwarzenegger, neither Lata Mangeshkar nor Madonna, and neither Dr APJ Abdul Kalam nor Thomas Jefferson. Why such non-sense living in the era where knowledge is open for all and just a click away!