Activists turn quite aggressive while expressing their views on the national television; probably to make the optimum use of the rare opportunity to create impact and gain support from larger part of public opinion, of course for their noble cause. However, sometimes, while criticizing some social psychology or lacuna, they generalize the whole thing and target the innocent part of social make-up.
While holding the male-dominance in Indian society responsible for the domestic violence, senior social activist Kamla Bhasin, in sensationally popular ‘Satyamev Jayate’ said that in India, women call their husband as ‘Pati’ or ‘Swami’ which ultimately reflects a Master-servant relationship between the two. As women are considered as servants in this culture, they fall victims to the domestic violence, she said. She also mentioned the festivals like Rakshabandhan, in which sisters tie Rakhis to brothers and ask protection in return. Bhasin said, the brother may be younger or weaker to protect the sister; or sister may be elder and capable to protect her as well as her younger brother; but still, this Rakshabandhan practice is common in every Indian house. This results in developing a superiority complex in boys and ultimately promotes domestic violence. Bhasin asked for equality; share in parent’s property and modern look out in males to change the scene. Her speech was studied, balanced and remedies she suggested appear quite effective.
Domestic violence, I think, is the psychological disorder. A real gentleman can never even think of attacking his wife or younger sister, or any other woman in the world for any reason. This is simply against the nature’s rules. Still, like many other psychological disorders, this domestic violence also has become a part of the human life. Domestic violence is common all over the world, irrespective of country, religion or culture. Unfortunately, In India, we relate this psychological problem with our culture, our traditions. In fact, these days, it is very easy to hold our ‘age-old’ culture, ‘outdated’ traditions, and ‘unrealistic’ mythological literature responsible for anything bad that is happening in the country. However, the problem is, indeed of ‘bad grooming’. Those who hold the Indian culture and traditions responsible for the social problems, should go back, and re-visit our ancient wisdom with a contemporary approach.
While calling husband as ‘Swami’, Indian culture calls wife as ‘Swamini’ and not as servant or ‘Dasi’. Another term is Ardhangini – a completing half of human life. Women already have an equal status in our way of life. The only thing is that many of us were never told by our parents about this side of our culture. Neither many of us bothered to go through our books before criticizing our culture, just because they are ‘old mythology’. So, ‘Pati’ means ‘Master’ for us; and ‘Patni’ , instead of mistress, becomes servant.
Leave aside the great Vedic and Sanskrit literature, and let’s go to an illiterate village. In rural Maharashtra, they call wife as ‘Karbharin’ (the one who owns whole business). In middle class families, it is still a common practice that not only wives but husbands also use the respect-showing terms like ‘Aho’, ‘Mandali’, ‘Swari’ for each others. Respect for women is so integral part of Indian way of life that this culture, or the terms of ‘Swami’ or ‘Pati’ could never promote the male-dominance and domestic violence. Neither the festivals like Rakshabandhan are meant to promote the male-dominance.
It’s a festival of celebrating the great relation between brothers and sisters. In foreign countries, they celebrate each relation on a particular day. This practice is quite recent and gained popularity in no time. Here in India, we have the same since ages. And, unfortunately, we are making the same unpopular. Not because we hate our culture, or promote the Western culture, but, because, we don’t know about the real value of what is stored in our tradition and culture. Promise of protection or giving each others valuable gifts may be the parts of Rakshabandhan, but celebration of the relationship is the heart of the festival.
However, as I told earlier, the activists, after closely observing a brutal reality for years in their career; find nothing wrong in holding the entire culture or a way of life responsible for one particular social problem. The same episode showed many educated women from high class houses being victims of domestic violence. Similarly, domestic violence is a problem worldwide, irrespective of country, culture and traditions. This means, it depends on the individual’s way of grooming.
In India, if we empower ourselves to understand the real meaning of our traditions, and culture; we will never hold our ancient wisdom responsible for the hideous violence, a mental disorder.
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