Sunday, January 1, 2012

Deeply rooted

She is going. After staying with us for almost three and a half years, the girl is getting married now. She will leave our office to start new life. Well, while I am really happy for her that she is getting married, I am a bit anxious too, as she will not be with us in the office anymore.
In fact, her leaving is not at all shocking. Nothing out of the world is happening. It was like pre-decided that after getting married, the girl was to leave the office. Many a times, it was me, who used to ask her when she was going to get married? We all colleagues used to discuss each others’ marriages for long time after our day’s work. At that time, I never even imagined that I will feel so bad when she will leave, really. Attachment catches us unaware.
On the other hand, I know that this feeling is momentary. Just within a week or two, we all will learn managing without her. For the first few days, or weeks, she will call or message quite regularly. Then messages, too, would become occasional. Then one or two in a year, and finally, they will stop. I know, years after, if we will meet each others suddenly some day, we will just speak formally and would feel happy for each others. Detachment, too, catches us unaware.
She was smiling. She was looking at everything around in the office, her desk, her computer, her chair and all. She was giving chocolates to everyone and was saying good bye. A huge enthusiasm about coming days was hiding the small but earnest feeling of grief in her mind. How girls could manage all this? They are wonderful.
For one guy to whom she loves, she is leaving her family, parents, her friends, her city, her job, her career, and may be so many of her routine habits; even her name. She is ready to restart for him and she will restart; that too, willingly. In India, we Brahmins proudly call ourselves ‘Dvij’ (who takes two births) as we believe that we get another birth after ‘Maunj’ (thread ceremony). However, real ‘Dvij’ are the girls, who have to take rebirth after marriage. I imagined myself at her position just for a few seconds, and I found myself in tears.
No! I can’t leave my world so easily, with smile on my face. I can’t hide my disappointment so effortlessly, howsoever bright may be the future. Even today, I had to struggle a lot to hide my disappointment of losing company of her -- a friend, a long time associate. Oh God, what would happen, if I have to leave everything like she is doing?! I started hating myself, and entire male fraternity.
How reluctant we males are? We find some girl beautiful, and charming and brilliant and suitable and we propose her. We feel proud if we propose her for marriage, and not for affair. We feel bad, if she denies and we feel like her masters if she accepts. We take this entire transformation so casually, without having a single thought on what the girl must be thinking of. Boys are born bastards.
Attachment and detachment caught me unaware, but when this realization caught me, it left me in tears for hours together.

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