Growing up, being stone

I don’t cry. I control myself. I accept life as it comes. I do this and I do that. I am matured. Uttering all this means nothing but I am fooling myself.

Days, weeks, and months passed. Years will, too. Now I am more focused, they say, and I believe. Nowadays, I think more about my career. If I will work hard in office, and score good marks in university; I will get better opportunities. If I will get better opportunities, I will get better money. Better money means better life. Better life gives better life partner. And chain goes on. Nowadays, I think about this chain quite seriously. So, now I am a matured guy for them; and I believe.

Nowadays, I don’t get words easily. I have to search them for long. I have to write twice and thrice, still delete, and rewrite. Because I want to be technically correct. There must not be any mistake of grammar, diction or vocabulary in my text. Yes, now I call it ‘text’ or ‘content’. Because I don’t write my heart; I write my mind. But, they like my writing now. They feel it’s better than what I used to write earlier. Because it’s more correct, to the point, and matured, they say. I believe.

And nowadays, I receive text messages as forwards and many times delete them without reading. If sometimes, I forward them to some contacts, I don’t wait for any reply to come. I don’t feel bad at all if nobody replies. I take it very easy these days if someone reaches late, or even cancels appointment. Even I don’t bother much to cancel appointments giving reason that I was busy with some other work. I don’t remember I have ridden right from west point to east point of the city just to return a book or a paper to somebody in last so many days. I just don’t do such foolish things now. After all, I am matured, that’s what I believe.

I don’t write poems. They just don’t come to me now. No Ghazal brings tears to my eyes now. When I listen to them, I recall next verses aptly, and feel proud that I remember the great words of great poets. Sometimes, I sing along, making sure that nobody is listening, because if someone points out my mistake; I may lose my impression. Now, I read books helpful for my writing -topic or for my study purpose. I find reading a comics or fairy tale books utter nonsense. How can I spend my valuable time in roaming around the city for no reason, or say, to enjoy the evening breeze? How foolish it is for me now to reach somewhere say an hour earlier and wait for someone in scorching heat just to ensure that that person should not have to wait.

This is what being matured is. Spontaneous reactions start appearing foolish. Crying for something means a sign of weakness. Investment without outcome becomes useless. And moments once used to make your heart heavy become matter of casual discussions.

Sorry Shaktimaan!

“Would you like to talk to Mukesh Khanna? He is here only. I can manage a small informal discussion with you, only if you can come over here,” Chief Coordinator of Nagpur International Film Festival Sameer Nafde was too formal while asking me to meet the chief guest for festival’s concluding eve. In fact, I was planning for the same interaction since the day I learned that Mukesh Khanna was to grace the concluding function.

A schoolboy in me was eager to meet my beloved Shaktimaan. The performing artist in me was excited to meet the man who did best justice to the epic role of ‘Bhishma Pitamaha’ with an incredible depth of his voice and aptness of pronunciation. Journalist in me was keen to meet the actor gutsy enough to say straight ‘no’ to the offer given by the ‘Queen’ of entertainment television Ekta Kapoor, predicting perfectly that her glamour-play with ‘Mahabharat’ will be a biggest failure in her career. Creative writer in me was charged-up to meet the man who understands language like a littérateur and reads people like a poet. The Indian in me was feeling proud to meet the man who stood up firmly in support of nationalistic issues time to time. And human being in me was hurrying to meet the man who is learned as well as experienced; modern, still traditional; straight forward yet polite; and celebrity, but a common man. Well, Mukesh Khanna gave me much more than what I was expecting.

“There is nothing like a formula of success. But, search for novelty, and insistence for quality satisfies the creative person and this satisfaction itself pulls the audience towards you,” Mukesh Khanna speaks affluent Hindi with a resonating base in his voice. Without microphone placed around, one could hear him vividly amongst the ten other sounds. This must be the reason why producers selected no one but Mukesh Khanna as a voice of Lord Hanuman in the animation film. ‘Hanuman’ was amongst India’s first few animation attempts, quite new at that time for the industry. But, Mukesh Khanna has always preferred the innovations. Just for the love for newness, he became an integral part of ‘Mahabharat’, B R Chopra’s initial attempt to bring mythology on small screen. When this mythology became very common on TV, he tried hand in a completely untouched field. He created India’s first ever Super-hero - Shaktimaan. And for the same newness, he has just produced a Marathi movie in memory of legendary Dada Kondke.

Mukesh Khanna welcomes supports and tries new things as he believes that people love them. The only point he stresses upon is that one should not defy the traditional values while going for new things. “I was told by authorities of Balaji Telefilms that they are making a realistic Mahabharata, in which Kings would not wear crowns at the warfront, and royal women will not wear heavy ornaments and diamonds. I asked them not to play with the traditional concepts of mythology. Their show became a period fashion show as they used models, and not actors,” Khanna, who refused to play the role of King Shantanu in Balaji’s flop show ‘Kahani Hamare Mahabharat ki’, says. He still recalls the dialogues in B R Chopra’s ‘Mahabharata’ in which he played the role of his life – Bhishm Pitamaha. “Master writers, academic researchers and studied director are basic needs to ensure authenticity of the mythological series. I think, this is our heritage and we should not compromise with its authenticity just for the sake of cheap TRP,” he says while criticizing the current trend on various TV channels to stretch the role particular character unnecessarily just to cash in the TRP.

Basically, Khanna seems to be a man of principles. He cares a lot for his image, and a less for money. He never ever played a negative role even after repeated offers, just because he wants to nurture his positive image. He taught philosophy as Bhishma, taught values as Shaktimaan; and he just do not want to leave even a pinch of bad influence for his audience. “This may be a fault in me. As an actor, I must explore other facets of my personality, too. But, I just can’t do a complete negative role. I feel as if I am doing injustice to a good number of people, who admire me for my positive roles,” says a profound religious man; who neither drinks nor smokes. “My super-hero Shaktimaan was more like a value educator for the kids. It taught small but important values to one generation. If a small actor like me can leave such a huge influence, legends like Amitabh Bachchan and Shah Rukh Khan can bring revolutions. But, unfortunately, they act for the sake of acting only, and not for the bigger cause of social upliftment,” he is straight-forward enough to mention that SRK’s home production ‘Ra-One’ may be a huge project, but it has little values to serve.

Mukesh Khanna has a dream to make a film on ‘Shaktimaan’. He admits that he is facing resource crisis for it. One may suggest him to join active politics (he is already a BJP campaigner) and become MP to end this fund-crunch one for an all. He smiles. “BJP had offered me a ticket from Chandni Chowk seat even before Smruti Irani. I politely refused. Because I believe, an active politician should be available for his people for all the time,” once again speak his principles. “Actors join politics. They get elected because of their popularity. Once elected, they didn’t even visit their constituency for months and years together. This invites public wrath. I can’t afford it at any cost. Once I will feel that I can give ample time to people, I will go for elections. But not in near future,” he explains. Khanna mentions names like NTR and MGR, legendary actor-turn-politicians, who quit acting before joining politics. He also speaks of Rajinikanth, whose popularity is far more than any other politician, but, who is still away from electoral politics just because he has lots of things to do in acting. Mukesh Khanna, too, dreaming for many new things in his core field – acting.

But, time is different for him now, as there is no Shaktimaan revolving in the skies. Nowadays, he can move freely, even unnoticed many times; unlike some six years back when he used to be surrounded by hundreds of children and their parents wherever he used to go. However, a thinker, a lawyer and a student of English Literature; he finds no difference in being popular or not so popular. “I keep doing my work. This is how life goes on,” he smiles having a sip from a plastic cup of canteen tea. Shockingly, I realize that I had refused the same tea just a few minutes ago, thinking that it wouldn’t look good to have tea in a disposable cup before the celebrity. “That boy offered the tea with a recognizable smile. I couldn’t say no to him,” when Mukesh Khanna says, one realizes that Shaktimaan is still well within him.

“Sorry Shaktimaan!” the candid confession appears from a school kid in me.

Shiva: Living with all

Writing this exactly in the middle of the Shivaratri, sitting alone in my room and watching a rare photograph (in fact a snapshot of a painting) of Lord of the lords Shiva; is something really thrilling for me. Just got this photograph of the Mahadev somewhere on the internet; and with it, got a flood of different thoughts and feelings in my mind.

Shiva is the oldest worshipped deity in the world. Unborn and immortal, the most powerful destructor yet the savior, he is being worshipped everywhere by all, since infinity. Right from the tips of the Kailas where they say, he resides, to the southernmost corner of the land at Rameshwara, Shiva is worshipped everywhere in India. While he is the deity of Sadhus who forsake materialistic world in search of the spiritual or sometimes of the ghostly world; he is also being worshipped by the people who enjoy family life. From warrior Kings to Vaidik Brahmins, from rich to poor, from technocrats to tribals, all worship the Mahadeva. Shiva accepts delicate flowers from the artists as he is the master of all fine arts while on the other hand, Ghost catcher Tantricks offer him skulls and ashes and he accepts that with equal pleasure.

Shiva rules over ghosts and also rules over arts. He blesses the demons and also blesses the gods. He forsakes the worldly relations; still is a family man. He is destroyer and creator, too. He is hot tempered and naive too. He is fearful. He is lovable. He is ugly. He is attractive. He is mystic. He is simple. A brutal killer, a passionate Lover, a caring husband, a loving Father; still out of all this, Shiva is a Yogi who enjoys Samadhi for ages together. How many personalities reside without any conflict in this one person? I think this is what makes him a Lord of the lords.

In fact, all personalities of Shiva do reside in every human being, too. But, Shiva becomes the God of all Gods because he lets all the personalities groom and show. Like us, he never lets the injustice happen with any emotion of himself, he never suppresses any of his personalities. When he wants to win fear, he wanders through the crematoriums, and embellishes himself with hot ash of incinerated corpses. When he wants to dance, he forgets whole world and makes it a ‘Tandav’. When he wants to make love, he makes it with all passion for ages. When he wants to express grief, he lifts the dead body of his wife in hands and walks whole world screaming in her remembrance. When he is pleased with the penance, he gives anything and everything asked by the devotee. When he is angry, he beheads his own son. When he wants peace, he goes into Samadhi, and if someone tries to disturb, he burns him into ashes.

Instead of indulging into the futile exercise of winning the emotion, Shiva goes natural and lives with the emotion, giving the emotions the due respect they deserve. He stays with all and this is the way how he stays out of all. Like in Dvapar Yuga, Shrikrishna stays with all -- with thefts, with Rasa Leela, with running away from warfront, with sixteen thousand and one hundred and eight wives, -- and still he becomes 'Yogeshwar’ by staying out of all. Shiva, too, is a Yogeshwar.

Just think once about people like you and me. Countless of personalities and infinite emotions we murder day and night. How many of us kill artist in ourselves for money-making job? How many of us suppress our tears just to show that I am strong. How many of us don’t laugh and don’t dance on being happy; just to show that I am modest or mature. How many of us need liquor to be strong and speak truth. How many?

Well, no one, even other deities could not become Shiva because Shiva is the free soul. He is living ‘with’ all emotions and all differentiated personalities, without keeping them aside. What we can do is just a try to give justice to as many emotions, and as many different aspect of our own personality. I think, one can do this much, for sure.

Respect for Love

Most of us celebrate it as a day of love while others ridicule saying that love is for all the time, and why to restrict it for one day? With number of people in its support, and many in the opposition, Valentine’s Day, probably enjoys (?) its most controversial status when it comes to India.

Views may defer completely on why and how to celebrate Love on this one particular day; but, Valentine’s Day provides a fresh opportunity to write on the most beloved subject of the writers – Love! Right from a three-line haiku to an endless epic, everything has been, can be, is being, and will be weaved around this phenomenon since the ages and for the ages to come.

Well, the day faces criticism for sure; but the phenomenon called Love for which it is celebrated, never (ever) faces any controversy even if being so diversely understood and explained. There are countless, completely contradictory expressions, explanations and stories of love, still, it is accepted with all different views and expressions universally that Love is something best, one of its kind, and greatest!

So, if all understand that all believe in superiority of love, then why fights are still there?

This is what comes into my mind. Everyone agrees on the fact that no one opposes Love. No country, no religion, or no philosophy says that Love is bad. The opposition, the controversy, conflict and quarrel begins with the way to express love. Elders hate it when youngsters hug and kiss each others publically. Conservative people find it as an insult of Indian culture if Indians follow the foreign customs like Valentine’s Day. Simply, not Love, but the way of expressing it creates controversy. Then what is the way out?

Recently I was reading the Marathi translation of Dr S L Bhyrappa’s milestone novel ‘Parv’. It explains Epic Mahabharata with an Aanthropological point of view.  In Mahabharata, every human race (The Kshatriyas of different clans, Rakshasas, Nagas, Gandharvas, Devas and many more) has its own customs and traditions and it proudly maintains those. Other races, too, respect those traditions, even if they may be having complete contradictory practices in their respective clans.

This respect is the reason why many races, traditions, civilizations prospered in India making it a great land of unity in diversity. If we start respecting others’ traditions, without disrespecting our own; there will be ‘zero conflict’, on most of the issues, including Valentine’s Day.

Literature and life

Writing this piece from a well updated and swanky media centre established in the campus of Rajiv Gandhi Engineering College Chandrapur, which is all decked up to host the annual extravaganza of Marathi literature – The Akhil Bharatiya Marathi Sahitya Sammelan; is simply a great feeling. While roaming around, I can see reporters from various media groups – some new faces, and some very well known; taking notes, filing reports and sending emails. Being an insider of this media brigade gives a proud feeling. And this proud feeling doubles, when I realize that I am here to be a part of a literary event – one of the most prominent literary events of the modern age – The Sahitya Sammelan.

Millions and millions of books around on hundreds of stalls; and if one starts taking a round of this exhibition seriously, even three full days of the festival would fall short. One after another, the symposiums on various subjects and orations by literary greats would be the special attractions. Poetry summits, story telling events, and cultural events will add more colour. Literature is something out of the world phenomenon and traditionally it has influenced one and all. Literature has initiated revolutions – social and political, it has shown path to the change-makers; and it has done probably the greatest work of documentation of changing thought-process of human race. Still, the organizers have to call film stars and theatre actors to attract crowds at the festival. Well, whether this huge number of college-going youths was there to see them, or due to the compulsion (probably made by their respective colleges), is still an unanswered question though; because, film stars are no more crowd pullers these days. Does it mean that the youths were there for the love of literature? This probability also fades as the number of youths turned in to visit book exhibition was very less than those who participated in the rally. Then why they were there? As I said before, just because it was made mandatory to them.

The event began in the evening with eminent speakers stressing mostly on the thought-process of youths. They said it is dire need of today to let youths know about the literature and its importance. They took blame on themselves saying that the generation of seniors failed to produce literature attracting youths. But, is it really true? Is only the so called low quality of literature responsible for poor reader-connect?

What I think is what I experience. I used to read a lot during my school days. My parents made me read some trademark novels of Marathi (Mrutyunjay, Yugandhar, Rau, Chhava, Yayati, Swami, etc) when I was in high school. Then, as soon as I started going to college, I suddenly stopped reading. Even if being a student of English Literature, I preferred to refer the ready-made notes as reading original text was very much time-taking for me. But, I used to concentrate the lectures very carefully to note down anecdotes shared by my lecturers, who, most probably, must have read all the original texts.

If someone used to ask me, what I was reading at the moment, I used to answer – ‘Nothing. And why should I read?’ I used to think that with Internet, all information is there on my finger-tip and I should not waste my time in reading. Well, my memory, or say, anyone’s memory is not like computer’s, that remembers everything read. So, why to stress the memory and read when the ready-reference is available right besides you?

Well, well, well! I started my professional life and realized that I was a biggest fool. Human memory is not like computers, yes. And believe me; it is better than the computers’. When we read something good, it pleases us. Then we forget it and read something else. And to our own surprise, the thing forgotten re-appears in our mind suddenly, at some moment, catching us unaware! Our brain captures something interesting, stores it somewhere in an unknown zone and re-sends it to our main memory box whenever we need it. This exercise of brain is very interesting. Once, we start reading, we start realizing this amazing capability of our brain.

One book gives thousand reasons to think. Our brain starts interlinking the books, comparing the thoughts, and much more, which we don’t even realize. All this happens automatically. Hence, now, I again read, just to see the amazing qualities of brain.

Accessing Internet gives instant information, and that is very important for that particular moment. But, reading literature teaches life.

Ethics: Changing or losing?

Was busy in some important work these days! Yes! This was the only excuse I gave to all my friends who kept asking where I was all these days, and why I discontinued writing this blog.

Well, civic body elections are scheduled in my city and journalists are busy in ‘various’ types of work. As a local daily, my newspaper is also taking out special pull out pages, fondly called as advertorials, and frankly called as paid news. Being a part of news room, I am deployed to make pages, compose the data of ‘achievements’ and highlight it on the page using as many ways (tricks, in fact) I know. I am getting handsome amount for that, no doubt. In corporate, they use the term remuneration or compensation for the payment. I think, ‘compensation’ is the most suitable term for the money I am receiving to compose the paid news. Compensation for the compromise I am making with my journalistic ethics.

Well, I am very new. Who taught me about the ethics? The books and the universities! But, life outside the books is different. Does it become ethics just because it is quoted in the books? Or it become ethics because the great elders practiced it in their era? If change is the most constant phenomenon, ethics may also witness the change. So, is it the new form of ethics? Praising someone ‘in newspaper’ for money? Is it journalism or its mockery?

Good or bad, but the change is here and there is no doubt about it. The ‘Mahavishnu of Mount Road’, even if being a ‘Bhishma Pitamaha’ of the ethical journalism, is facing stings of arrows from the so called unethical ‘marketing’ tactics of the corporate news house. “They are not doing press. They are doing cheap marketing,” one of the visitors from Chennai, who was brought up with The Hindu, expressed while we were having discussion just after Times Group’s entry in Chennai. Almost three months have passed after this discussion, and now the television advertisement war has begun. To The Times of India’s offensive commercial, The Hindu retaliated with some exclusive punch lines doing justice with its age and dignity. The bottom-line of this war is the same. What is the real journalism? What is the real ethics? Are they changing?

If the journalism of courage or journalism that speaks straight-forward truth, being non-favouring and non-bias is the ethical journalism; then people, be ready to pay twenty-five rupees a day for a newspaper. In today’s era, media is no more neutral. It shouldn’t be – as it meant to stand for the right. But, being with the right every time, may invite troubles, the deadly troubles. And in today’s age of growth and money, how many of us could take up troubles?

The age, where even the pious work of imparting education has become money-making business; and where they charge class-wise money for the Darshan of the almighty in a gold-plated temple; how one could expect a small newspaper shouting only for the principles – for the ethics!

Exactly, here lies the root cause. Ethics are missing from every field, basically, from people. Principles are missing from our hearts. If most of us understand that the paid news is unethical; why politicians insist to publish it by paying even more money than the advertisement charges? (Just because they know that it influences mindsets of their voters). If someone says, cheap marketing tactic is not the Press; and all of us nod affirmatively to his statement; then why the newspaper doing the same is posing a threat to the ancient and ethical newspaper? (Because people are purchasing it to see nude photographs of women)

Ethics are as it is. But they have lost their position. Now, ethics exist in mouth, not in mind. Because, we – the people; allowed them to leave our minds.

We can change it, too. Mind it.

Realizing the domain

Enthusiasm and anxiety were struggling to overpower each others in his mind when my friend was leaving for Mumbai to follow his dream to achieve something unconventional in sound engineering, a field mostly untouched by people from Vidarbha, especially from my hometown Yavatmal.

I had been a part of many such platform farewell meets on railway station even before this one; and I am sure to attend many more such in future, as people will continue to leave hometowns in search of better educational and professional opportunities. But, this farewell meeting was different. My friend was leaving neither for pursuing higher education in engineering or medicines, nor to join any high paying job in a multi national firm. He was leaving in search of himself, in an entirely unknown scenario.

“I will learn by myself. There are people working in this field. Working with them will be learning itself,” he was saying with confidence in voice and uncertainty in eyes.

Well, my friend, just close these ‘eyes with uncertainty’ and just jump out! The parachute of confidence will land you safe at the dream destination. At least you realize that this is the only thing which you want to do in your life. You are not searching yourself in the scrap of all career options – banks, BPOs, factories, and administrative examinations – but, you know your domain. Now search will become easy,

As his train departed, I remembered my time. I was leaving for comparatively known field, the journalism. But, when I joined, I realized how ignorant I was. Since then, I am learning and will keep on learning for all the time. But, at least, I know, what I want to learn.

Yes; something unconventional, creative, and what pleases me a lot! This is what I am doing. When they compare how less I am earning than my engineer friends, and how bigger name would I have made if I would have tried some service commission examinations, I just smile at them. This smile comes from within. Oh come on! I am enjoying each and every moment – good and bad; each and every experience – happy and sad; and each every reaction – bouquets and brickbats; with equal enthusiasm. What else one expects? I know my domain and am searching myself in it. After all, just like the sky, success, too, is the same and is there for everyone, fields no bar.

Generally, we run behind the thing which we don’t have and always underestimate what we have with us. My colleague who attended Indian Science Congress was lamenting that India lacks far behind China and other countries in scientific research. India spends only 0.9 per cent of the GDP on science. Some other colleague added that we lack on army front from America and navy front from Russia. Someone said we are far behind in industrialization and construction fields than Japan. We are in Stone Age of hardware development as compared to Koria and Malaysia. On tourism front, we lack ages behind Singaore and Canada. Finally, the discussion ends on the universal thought that India is eaten up by corruption and is the worst place in the world to live for progressive minded people.

Criticizing the development or more precisely non-development of science, industries, buildings, bridges, and finally – money – in India comes as an outcome of the ignorance of our domain. The most ancient civilization, India is known for what? It is not industrialization, or building high rises or developing science gadgets; but it is spirituality.

The land has given Buddha to China and Japan. It has taught Jesus Christ the basics of Christianity during 12 years of his stay in Indus. It has inspired Prophet Mohammad to formulate Islamic rules and regulations. It has given all 24 Teerthankars of Jainism to the world. It has given the brave hearts Sikhs right from Guru Nanak Dev Ji. It has given philosophy and Darshans to the world. It has given the mother of all religions and beliefs, the greatest way of living life – The Hinduism.

India is known for the thought it gives to live the life without being materialistic. Because, science or industries or money or gadgets have limits; and spirituality is limitless. India leads the world on the front which no one feels has any importance during the days of money, and everyone feels as the most important during the days of death.

Being Indians, we should understand in which field exactly we are leading. We can borrow technology from all over the world, but not the thought. While listening ourselves criticizing her on the technological, and money making fronts, Mother India must be passing the smile from within, the smile I can relate with.